Who am I kidding?

I probably ran out of money on purpose so that I would be forced to put my little pussy out.  I’m easing back into it of course.

The other day I had a long think about whether or not I was prepared to do this again.  The situation is not like before, I’m not single.  But I am broke.  If he found out, it would hurt him.  I don’t know if it’s any consolation that what I’m currently offering is a no-contact experience (but yes, I still get naked).  It’s not really cheating that way.  Sure, someone else gets to enjoy looking at me doing dirty things, but he doesn’t touch me, I don’t touch him, we both benefit, we walk away and it’s done.  It’s not like picking up a guy at the bar and fucking him because I’m bored or horny.  No, I have a purpose.  Fucking money.  Money is unfortunately necessary and I don’t have time to wait 2-4 weeks for a paycheck from a straight gig.  I just don’t.  I’m making better money this way anyway.  It might be dangerous, but it’s still practical.  And as much as I’ve been around evil people, I will still say that most people, including most men who pay to play, are normal and have no desire to hurt you.  There really is such a thing as the guy who “just wants to talk/cuddle/watch TV/otherGRatedActivities.”  He’s rare, for sure, but he’s out there.  Even when psychopaths do pick on prostitutes, they usually choose the streetwalkers.  The ones who post coded messages online with big words and double entendre (the sly kind, not the “roses” kind) are typically not the ones they pick, because those girls usually have loved ones, or at least a friend who is expecting a phone call to say she’s alright in 15 minutes. But I digress.

I’m looking forward to it.  I don’t want my man to know, but I miss this.  It’s what I love most, other than him.  I’ve checked the penal code (*snort*).  I’m not doing anything illegal.  There could be a case for obscenity, but then you’re getting into first-amendment land, and who wants to go there? 

I kinda wish this wasn’t my version of Disneyland.  It’s frowned upon.  I don’t care what you think of me, really, but a lot of people get really mean about it when they learn you choose to turn tricks, rather than being trafficked into it.  They don’t understand the nuance, but that doesn’t stop them from being plain loud about it.  When people get so emotionally charged, you just cannot reason with them, and emotional people are just the worst, I swear. 

So, if you never see another post from me, it’s because I got murdered in someone’s apartment and now I’m in a landfill or ditch or something.  But if you do, it’s because I could afford to pay my cable bill.  Premium channels and phone line bundles are a bitch, but I need home entertainment.

And food.  Paleo ain’t cheap.

Mostly food.