Here’s my shameful truth: my boyfriend (so called fiance) has gone down on me approximately six times in our year long relationship. I can only count five times from memory (the night we met, our Halloween vacation, valentines, my birthday, and once since then, of course after I complained), but I will assume another instance happened as well, for his sake.
I only cum from oral sex, as far as contributions from a partner are concerned. I can get off with a vibrator by myself just fine. But that’s what being single is for (and “being single” to me means, “the three weeks at most between this dick and that”).
The last guy I had sex with before I met my fiancé was Charlie. I had known him and wanted him for a while (he’s a redhead, a great one at that, and that is my THING, for some reason). Finally, over a year after we met, we talked about our mutual attraction. That night, I thought, I was out of commission on account of my period. He told me “I was married for seven years. I’ve seen it all and I don’t care. I just want you squirming on my face, no matter what, where, when, or why.” He cheerfully agreed to follow me home and eat me out, despite me being on my period. This carried on with similar enthusiasm for a while. There were many times when I just wanted to suck him off, because yes, that gets me off, but I knew, if I needed it, it would be there.
There are no such certainties with my fiancé. I don’t know why he doesn’t do it, and he won’t explain why. I figure it’s the usual reason immature men have: women smell/taste gross down there. So, I shower, I shave, and if he attempts to go down after I went for a run and haven’t showered, I turn him down. I’ve explained to him that I don’t do this because I don’t want it, but because I know how much he obviously hates it, and I don’t want to make the experience any more difficult than it already is.
In our time together, I have never mentioned that he has an abnormally hairy penis. That’s right. He has hair growing halfway up his dick. It’s not a lot, but when I go down on him, sometimes I think I have a hair stuck in my mouth, but really, it’s a still-attached dick hair. It’s really only maybe like eight hairs total, but they are full sized, and still very uncommon for my dick sucking experience (which exceeds the 100 point for sure). What’s weird is he will shave his balls, but he completely ignores his dick hair.
But I shave everything constantly to keep him not-uninterested. I don’t know how to get him excited about it, so I just try to make myself as presentable as possible.
But charlie wouldn’t give a flying shit. Not one. If I went three weeks between shaves, he didn’t give a shit, my pussy was a wonderful source of enjoyment for me, therefore for him, then both of us together. I can’t even think of a fucking JOHN who didn’t eat my pussy first. They paid to eat it of all things!
My no-contact client told me the other night how much he loved eating pussy. He could do it for hours, he said. I’m almost tempted to call him and just ask him to eat me out. No money, just eat my pussy for an hour.
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I’ve never had a mate so reluctant to give me pleasure. I figure I’ll stay with him, because he’s great in every other way, but I’ll just get my pussy eaten on the side. So long as there’s no reciprocation on my end (giving oral or sex), can he really complain? Really?
I mean fucking really?
It’s not like he’s established a monopoly on it. He’s not outdoing the competitors. If I, as a business owner, hired a company that did legal and financial services, but found that while their legal services were fantastic, their financial services sucked, could they really get mad if I used them only for their legal skills, but turned to someone different for financial advice? There’s no contract yet. Even if there were, failure to provide on any one aspect would warrant the agreement null.
I don’t want to cheat, and I don’t want to break up, but I am comfortable cheating. More so than breaking up with him. I told him, before, that a recent study said men performed cunnilingus to keep women from leaving them. In fact, the study said men performed cunnilingus to keep women from cheating on them. but I didn’t want to scare him.
But that’s the truth we’re facing. Any advice is welcome.
Update: Oh, and to let you know, I suck his dick probably 97% of the time that we have sex. He does not eat my pussy to make it wet, nor does he like it when I spit on my fingers and then rub them on myself to make up for the lack of actual sexual lubricant. He complained about that, so I stopped. So, unless I suck him first, it’s dry cock going into dry pussy and it is painful and unnecessary. Just eat it god damnit.